Oh My Glamorous Job

Being a stay-at-home mom is a pretty glamorous job.  My husband sometimes teases me that I get to sit on the couch, watch TV (specifically soap operas) and eat bonbons all day.  While I don't want to burst his bubble or spoil the illusion of what his wife does when he's away slaving at his desk all day, I do want to keep it real for all you parents who know what staying at home with your children is really like.  Once upon a time....

I was helping my in-laws at their house a few weeks ago.  The kids came with me and were amusing themselves in different ways.  Unbeknownst to me, Mason (the 3 year old) was amusing himself by throwing handfuls of dirt in the van.

I became aware of the wonderful job Mason did when it came time to leave Grandma and Grandpa's.  It was late and the sun was just settling on the horizon and the mosquitos chased us to the van.  I quickly got in and sat in a dirt covered chair as I was half listening to my oldest explain why there was dirt in the van.

(sigh)

The next morning while I was vacuuming the vehicle so we could use it without looking like we slid into home plate, I hear Mason crying.  I turned to see him standing in the driveway with his shorts and underwear down by his ankles.  I pressed the power button on the vacuum in time to hear him say, "I had an accident."

(sigh)

As I approached him he told me he had runny poops.

(gasp)

I began helping Mason get cleaned up and asked him what happened.  In his tear-filled voice he told me he pooped on the bathroom floor.

(eyes wide and dread sets in)

Friends, stop reading if you are easily grossed out.

I walked into the bathroom to see diarrhea all over the bathroom floor!

(No!)

Oh yes.  Isn't that glamorous?  Guess little Mason got into mum's Bonbon stash.